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Help after experiencing domestic abuse

The UK government defines domestic violence as any incident or pattern of incidents involving controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence, or abuse between individuals aged 16 or older who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality. This abuse can include, but is not limited to, psychological, physical, sexual, financial, and emotional harm.

Domestic abuse can take many forms, such as:

  • physical abuse
  • sexual abuse
  • financial abuse
  • coercive and controlling behaviour, and gaslighting/emotional abuse
  • digital/online abuse
  • ‘honour’-based abuse
  • forced marriage
  • female genital mutilation (FGM).

If you’re in immediate danger, always call 999.

Silent Solution

If you need urgent police help but cannot speak, you should:

  • dial 999
  • listen to the questions from the operator
  • respond by coughing or tapping your device, if you can
  • if prompted, press 55 to let the operator know it’s a genuine emergency and you’ll be put through to police.

How we can help

Our aim is to empower victims of domestic abuse to regain control of their lives and strengthen their safety, independence and autonomy. Our experienced and specially trained team will talk with you about your situation. They will listen in a non-judgemental way, prioritising your safety and confidentiality. They will conduct a risk assessment to understand the risks posed to you and provide you with the right information and advice to support you and any dependents to stay safe.

Our team can:

  • help you to explore your options and encourage you to make your own decisions
  • support you with whatever decisions you make
  • ensure your safety is paramount and work with you to develop a safety and support plan
  • take action to help you keep safe
  • liaise with the police and other agencies on your behalf
  • help you access housing, benefits, and debt advice
  • give you information on civil and legal remedies
  • support you if your case goes to court
  • tell you about your rights under the Victims’ Code
  • support you to navigate the complexities of the criminal and family justice systems
  • provide help to access other appropriate services including information about criminal injuries compensation.

We will try to provide support in a way that suits you. This may be over the phone, via Zoom video conferencing, or face-to-face in a safe community venue. You can also access support 24/7 via our Supportline on 08 08 16 89 111.

Our one-to-one work includes 8 to 12 weeks of structured support from an accredited independent domestic violence advocate (IDVA) and domestic abuse caseworker.

Delivered face-to-face and/or over Zoom, telephone, email, SMS or WhatsApp – whatever the victim-survivor prefers. IDVAs will:

  • be person-centred: they will listen attentively, avoiding interruption, showing empathy and validating the victim-survivors’ experiences
  • provide accurate information about criminal justice processes and about wider services available
  • empower victim-survivors so they can make informed decisions and rebuild resilience and coping strategies.

Independent domestic violence advisers (IDVAs) and caseworkers will provide support to victim-survivors around court, including arranging or attending pre-trial visits. Sitting with the victim-survivor as part of ‘special measures’, and generally providing other support and guidance at this time. They will also work with the victim-survivor to move on after criminal justice processes conclude.

iMatter is a programme for women aged 16 and over who are victim-survivors of domestic abuse. Our sessions are delivered either in person or via Zoom on a variety of days and times and each one lasts approximately 90 minutes.

We know that starting on a programme can feel daunting but you will be attending with other people who are or have been in the same situation, and will understand how you feel. They will be non-judgemental and supportive.

Our participants tell us they get as much from the other participants as they do from the content of the programme. We will encourage you to actively participate but our trained facilitators will allow you to do this at your own pace.

The programme includes:

  • understanding what domestic abuse is, including coercive and controlling behaviour
  • a focused look at healthy behaviour in relationships, and what changes may be needed to keep ourselves safer in future – this includes the relationships we have with ourselves
  • practical skills for recovery, including working on confidence and assertiveness
  • strengthening of social connections in a safe environment, and encouraging the sharing of behaviours, thoughts and feelings following the experience of domestic abuse
  • information about self-esteem and self-care.

iMatter comprises eight sessions, each exploring an individual topic.

  • Introduction.
  • Healthy relationships.
  • Coercive control and abuse.
  • The planets: men and women.
  • A gift to me: looking after ourselves.
  • One of those days.
  • What’s your style?
  • Moving forward.

Throughout the programme we focus on self-worth, self-care and mindfulness. Each session is focused around group discussion and the sharing of ideas, but nobody is asked to share anything they do not wish to. The focus of iMatter is not on individual experiences, but on helping victims of domestic abuse move forward.

Get help now

We provide support for victims and survivors of sexual violence and domestic abuse. If you need help, you can find out more about the services we offer.

Need help after domestic abuse?

If you need support after experiencing domestic abuse, you can call 0300 140 9956 or fill out our online form.