What is rape?

If you didn’t give your consent for sex to happen, that’s rape. Rape is when someone penetrates a person’s vagina, anus or mouth with their penis without consent.

Whatever the circumstances, nobody has the right to force you to have sex or have sex with you without your consent, or agreement. If this happens to you, it’s important to remember it’s not your fault.

If someone sexually assaults you by penetrating you with another part of their body or another object, this is classed as ‘assault by penetration’. This is as serious an offence as rape, and will be treated similarly to rape if taken to court.

The intentional removal of a condom during penetrative sex without the person’s knowledge (sometimes called stealthing) is also rape.

What is sexual assault?

If someone intentionally grabs or touches you in a sexual way that you don’t like, or you’re forced to kiss someone or do something else sexual against your will, that’s sexual assault.

This includes sexual touching of any part of someone’s body, and it makes no difference whether you’re wearing clothes or not.

Anyone can be sexually assaulted and anyone can commit sexual assault.

Get help now

If you need to speak to someone, we’re available every day, night and day. Find out the different ways you can get confidential and free support now.

What is consent?

Giving sexual consent means you agree to be involved in or take part in any kind of sexual activity. And you have the freedom and capacity to make that decision. This means you’re not forced, coerced, tricked or scared into giving consent.

Consent can never be assumed, even in a relationship or marriage. Sex without your consent is rape.

You may not be able to give your consent if you were under the influence of alcohol or drugs, didn’t understand what was happening or were asleep. If you don’t have the capacity to give your consent, it cannot be assumed.

You’re also allowed to change your mind at any point. If at first you wanted to have sex but then decided against it, that’s OK and no one has the right to force you to continue. If they don’t stop, then what they’re doing is sexual assault or rape.

The age of consent in the UK is 16 and a child under the age of 13 cannot legally consent to any sexual activity.

Here are some other terms you might hear used in relation to rape, and what they mean.

Date rape

‘Date rape’ isn’t a specific offence but you might hear the term used to describe rape when the survivor and perpetrator are known to each other, for example if they’re friends or are dating.

The person raped may be drugged and unable to give consent.

It doesn’t matter if you knew the person who raped you — sex without consent is rape.

Marital rape

Consent can never be assumed, even in a marriage.

Being married does not give your partner any right to force you into having sex or to have sex with you without your consent. If this happens, it is rape and your partner can be prosecuted.

Statutory rape

‘Statutory rape’ is the term that’s sometimes used to describe the rape of children under the age of consent.

In the UK, a child under the age of 13 cannot legally consent to any sexual activity. The age of legal consent in the UK is 16.

Gang rape

If someone is raped by a group of people, this is sometimes referred to as ‘gang rape’.

Oral rape

‘Oral rape’ is a term often used to describe what happens when someone penetrates your mouth with their penis, without your consent or agreement.

Digital rape

People sometimes use the term ‘digital rape’ to describe penetration of the anus or vagina with someone’s finger(s). This can happen to anyone, and could be committed by anyone.

In legal terms, this is classed as ‘assault by penetration’ but will be treated similarly to rape if taken to court.

Anal rape

If a person penetrates your anus with their penis without your consent, this is rape.

If someone penetrates your anus with another part of their body or object, this is called ‘assault by penetration’. This type of sexual assault can be committed by anyone.

In the courts this will be treated very similarly to rape, with a maximum penalty of life imprisonment.

Rape and sexual assaults are traumatic experiences that can affect you both physically and emotionally.

It’s important to think about getting medical help as soon as possible, to check for sexually transmitted infections, injury or pregnancy.

Everyone reacts differently to these events. You might experience some of the emotions below, or you might feel nothing at all. Whatever you feel, your response is normal and we can help you to cope.

You might:

  • feel ashamed or even guilty about what happened
  • feel depressed or suicidal
  • have flashbacks
  • have difficulty focusing or sleeping
  • feel numb and in shock
  • be tearful, angry or irritable.

These are all normal reactions and might last a long time.

It’s important to remember what happened is not your fault and you’re not alone. You can talk to us.

All survivors of rape and sexual assault should be able to get the help they need to empower them to move on from the impact of the crime.

We don’t just help people who’ve recently been sexually assaulted or raped — we can support you weeks, months and years after the crime took place.

All of our services are confidential, free and available to anyone who’s experienced sexual assault or rape. We can support you whether or not you have told the police or anyone else about the assault.

  • ISVAs (Independent Sexual Violence Advocates) are specially trained advisors available in some Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs) or other voluntary organisations like Victim Support, to help people who have experienced sexual violence. Our ISVA services are staffed by specialist caseworkers and are supported by specialist volunteers. These workers will help you decide on what action you want to take and the support and help that feels right for you. ISVAs often support survivors through the criminal justice system, if you choose to report the crime, and coordinate health and support services.
  • Our victims’ services work with anyone affected by crime. We’ll help you to decide on the range of support and help that might benefit you.

Support for people charged or convicted of sexual offences

Within our ISVA services we have to ensure the ways we work are safe for victims/survivors and the services are meeting their needs. In order for us to do this, Victim Support is unable to offer ISVA support to those who have been charged, or convicted of sexual offences, unless in exceptional circumstances. If you would like more details about Victim Support’s ISVA services please contact us.

Where we receive a referral of an alleged perpetrator in an active criminal justice investigation, we will risk assess the most suitable support method.

As a service we recognise the need for society to reduce the prevalence of sexual violence and understand that support should be available to victim/survivors who are charged with, or convicted of, sexual offences. While this is something Victim Support’s ISVA services can’t deliver, the following organisations can:

  • StopSO is a charity registered with the Charity Commission of England and Wales. They have a UK-wide independent network of suitably qualified and experienced professionals who are willing and trained to work with potential sex offenders, sex offenders and their families. For further information call 07473 299 883 or visit their website stopso.org.uk.
  • The Lucy Faithful Foundation is a national charity dedicated solely to reducing the risk of children being sexually abused. They work with families that have been affected by sexual abuse including: adult male and female sexual abusers; young people with inappropriate sexual behaviours; victims of abuse and other family members. For further information call 0808 1000 900 or visit their website lucyfaithfull.org.uk.

Many people worry about reporting rape and sexual assault to the police because they:

  • had been drinking alcohol or taking drugs at the time
  • are in a relationship with or know the person who attacked them
  • have had a sexual relationship with that person before
  • had been kissing or touching that person before the attack
  • were with someone of the same sex (gay or lesbian relationship)
  • didn’t say ‘no’ or didn’t fight back
  • can’t really remember it properly.

If you’ve been raped, this is never your fault — no matter the circumstances.

The police will take reports of rape seriously, and you can contact Victim Support to discuss options and have support throughout the process.

You don’t have to report the crime to the police if you don’t want to, and we’ll be here to support you regardless of whether you choose to report.

If the rape or sexual assault happened recently (within seven days), you can have a medical examination carried out at your nearest Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) to collect forensic evidence. You don’t have to have a forensic examination. However, it can give useful evidence if you choose to report the crime to the police and the case goes to court.

If you’d like to have a forensic examination, try to keep the clothes you were wearing at the time and don’t wash them, and avoid showering if possible. Also try not to eat, drink, smoke, brush your teeth or go to the toilet if you can.

You can report a rape or sexual assault by calling 999 soon after the crime. Always call 999 if you feel you’re in danger.

If the rape or sexual assault happened a long time ago, you can still report this to the police by calling 101.

Find your local SARC if you’re in England or if you’re in Wales.

Experiencing a rape or sexual assault is traumatic, and it can take a lot of courage to talk about what happened.

Getting support is an important part of surviving and moving forward with your life.

You might be able to get support from a trusted friend or family member, but there are also organisations that can help. You can speak to your GP about getting help, or talk to a support worker at an organisation like Victim Support. Whoever you decide to talk to, remember you don’t have to face this alone.

Contact Victim Support for help.

When you report a crime to the police, they should automatically ask if you’d like help from an organisation like Victim Support. But anyone affected by crime can contact us directly – you don’t need to talk to the police to get our help.

You can get in touch by:

You can also create a free account on My Support Space – an online resource with interactive guides (including a guide on rape and sexual assault) to help you manage the impact crime has had on you.

If English is not your first language and you’d like support, call our Supportline and let us know which language you speak. We’ll call you back with an interpreter as soon as possible. We also welcome calls via Relay UK and SignLive (BSL).

Families and friends affected by crime can also contact us for support and information. If you’re a child or young person under 18 and are looking for support, visit our children and young people website for information.

Further support and information:

Information leaflets:

Possible health issues

It’s important you consider getting medical help as soon as possible after a rape or sexual assault.

Domestic abuse

Domestic abuse describes negative behaviours that one person exhibits over another within families or relationships.