These real-life stories show how people who’ve used our services have moved forward after crime. Please note, all names have been changed to protect identities. 

Emma had been in a relationship for 20 years, regularly being subjected to emotional abuse and coercive and controlling behaviour. Emma attempted to leave the relationship many times, but her husband would make suicidal threats whenever she tried to leave. Emma had children who she was also worried about. 

After hearing recommendations from people on a domestic abuse forum, Emma made a self-referral to our service via email. 

Sam from Victim Support contacted Emma initially via telephone and assessed her needs. Emma had tried to access support from domestic abuse agencies in the past but was told she didn’t meet the criteria. Sam identified that Emma could benefit from learning and understanding more about domestic abuse so offered Emma the option of one-to-one domestic abuse awareness sessions via Zoom. 

Contact was also made in between the Zoom sessions via email and telephone. During one-to-one sessions, Emma disclosed more. She hadn’t realised that some things were abusive and/or controlling at the time. This included sexual abuse and control. Sam continued to advocate with social services and supported Emma throughout the court process. 

Emma received seven one-to-one sessions in total and Sam is still providing ongoing support and reassurance. Emma is now receiving additional help from Families First, who we work closely with, and there is a court order in place. Emma said:

“Sam is honest, completely transparent and very straight talking. Something I very much needed through this difficult time. He does not give any false hope but was incredibly reassuring. He listened, he remembered what had been happening despite having so many other people to support and I felt that he genuinely cared.

“Most importantly, Sam was extremely validating and knew more about domestic abuse than any female professional I have worked with during the last three years. I cannot describe how grateful I was to have someone that really understood what my children and I had and still are experiencing.” 

“I don’t know how I would have done it without Sam’s support, and I will always be grateful to him. He really went above and beyond to help and make life a little easier for me and my children. If I had to go through this again, I would come to Victim Support.” 

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Sarah had been a victim of domestic abuse and controlling and coercive behaviour for 30 years. She says her abuser assaulted her and controlled her on a daily basis. Sarah spent her life stepping on eggshells, wearing what he wanted her to, and doing what he wanted her to do to keep the peace when her children were younger. She has two adult children and knew she had to get away from him. 

Sarah called Victim Support stating that she needed ongoing support through the family court and advocacy with the police. Sarah and her ex-partner co-owned some properties, which he had changed the locks on, and he was coercing and controlling her financially after she had left him. He had her mum’s jewellery and other items of sentimental value that he would not give back. She was awaiting family court as there was a lot the police couldn’t do so she felt alone and unsupported. 

Our complex domestic abuse supporter called Sarah. As a result, a risk assessment was carried out as she was afraid he had access to the property she was living in and was monitoring her moves. A safety and support plan were made, and Sarah was given advice and information about recording and reporting all incidents that made her feel alarmed or distressed. 

Sarah started to feel more informed and safer, which in turn helped to improve her wellbeing and her ability to move forward. She stated her safety plan really helped her to structure her life again and get back on track.  

Sarah said that she found the support from Victim Support “amazing”, adding: 

“The guidance and advice I received from this lady [at Victim Support] has been remarkable. During my time with her, she has always shown me care and compassion and always reassured me that I am doing the right thing. 

“[My supporter] was able to couple her IDVA knowledge and skills with her duty of care, which was very useful in my case. I cannot speak highly enough of her as there was never a time when she did not make time for me.”